Modesty

I wish that I would have received a talk along these lines, growing up going to church.

Hello Gentlemen. I know the girls are being talked to right now about modesty and instead of going out and burning off some steam, we have things to talk about too. The girls can be modest and you can still rape them with your eyes, look at Matthew 5. They can do everything right, and you can still have a problem with lust.

Regardless of what they wear, regardless of whether you are tempted by them, you bear the responsibility of guarding your eyes.

Could they make it easier or more difficult for you? Sure. But their actions absolve you of no responsibility. And to be clear, what makes it more difficult is not their clothes but your heart. It isn’t what is outside of you that makes a stench in God’s nostrils, but what comes out of your heart that makes you abhorrent to God. It is this we must repent of. We. You, me, us.

I’m not leading you from a far away place. I’m a man, I notice women, but that’s where it stops because I’m a man and not a boy.

I want you to understand this more generally, no one else’s actions absolve you of responsibility to do what is right.

Looking to the future, marriage isn’t a license for sex all the time. It isn’t her responsibility to make you faithful. That’s wholly yours. Marriage is a license for you to sacrifice your selfish desires and minister to God’s daughter. It is a license for you to be Christ to her, this is the reason that we are given that image in the Bible. In John’s revelation, in Hosea’s life, in Paul’s letters, and Jesus’ sermons.

Marriage is an invitation to be like Christ.

If you think things will get easier if you get married, you’re wrong. Some things will be easier, but some things will be harder. Stop snickering, this is serious. If you look at pornography, objectify every woman you see, and then blame your circumstances or the way she dresses, what makes you think that you will be any different after you’re married?

You are setting your life on a track now for the rest of your life, can you change that later? What you do now will have consequences for later. Will you be damned by them? God is merciful, but there are consequences that God does not usually save us from.

Girls are not their body parts. You are not your penis. Abstinence is not the goal, Christ is. Sex is not amazing because you were a virgin on your wedding night, sex is amazing because you get to be deeply connected with your wife.

Our society has sold you a lie, and it is that you are not fulfilled unless you are having sex. It is that women exist for you and your urges. Women exist for God the same as you.

Cherish women as mothers, girls as sisters. Older men as fathers, younger men as brothers.

Fight not only for yourself to be pure, but those who hold the same beliefs as you.

If this is not a possible struggle for you but one you are mastered by and are tired of it, come talk to me.

Instead we played dodgeball.