behavior Δ
Approaching behavior change with curiosity is hard.
BJ Fogg says (and James Clear) that behaviors are reinforced through reward.
The difference is in the language we use when changing our behaviors.
We say things like “I should”:
- run
- eat a certain food
- not eat a certain food
- tip service people more than pennies
- argue more on the internet
- mock republicans for their inconsistencies
- mock democrats for their inconsistencies
- create more than I consume
- whatever habit you're trying to work on
It's the easiest thing in the world to beat yourself up when you miss the mark. Instead, when you find a way that doesn't work, or doesn't move the needle as much as you would like, be curious. You just found new information that you can use! If you approach with curiosity instead of condemnation, you won't feel rotten when you didn't get it right the first time.
Instead ask, “What can I do to get closer to my goal?”
It takes courage to do this. The required grace and patience must come from without, not within.